So, I'll try to make this short. There are a few other posts (with pictures) after this one that are much more interesting.
Went to the doctor finally! I've struggled to be "normal" the past two months. I fall asleep mid conversation, I can't wake up, when I am awake I feel like I'm in a fog and I drag myself from one place to the next, I am always one wrong event away from a total breakdown, and I just can't keep living like this. I told my doc all of this and it seems that I have failed yet another medication. They upped the meds after my week long seizure extravaganza which has helped a little with the seizures but made living unbearable. The seizures came back yesterday and I had two more today. I dread waking up wondering if I'll have that "feeling". I can totally tell if it will be a good or bad day and in the past 2 months I've had about 3 good days and about 10 seizure days. The rest have just been bad days.
So, what to do. I have failed 3 medications. I am told that I will most likely never react well to any meds at this point. I am, however, now a candidate for a surgery to implant a sort of brain pacemaker. Sounds fun eh? I really believed the next surgery I would have would be by choice.....and it is, but I was thinking more along the lines of a boob job, tummy tuck, butt lift, you know, something totally superficial. Instead, I have to pay more money to make my head work right. Luckily the surgery is not brain surgery. The device is placed under the collar bone and attached to a nerve in the neck with a sort of wire (lead). The nerve runs to the brain and the device shoots electric shocks every 5 minutes- day and night. They give you a magnet that you can swipe over the device when you feel a seizure is about to start and it can stop the seizure, lessen the length of a seizure, or make the aftermath shorter and easier to handle. I'm all for that.
We are going to go for the surgery. In the mean time I have to wean off this med and start a new med. They will implant the device and then it will take 2 weeks of healing before they can turn it on. At that point, we have to adjust the voltage to meet my needs and we go from there. I'm guessing it will be at least 2 more months before I'm "normal" again, but at least there is some hope. I had run out of hope and I was really having a hard time facing the idea of doing this for another 50 years. Here's to hope- may this be the answer to this 5 years of questions I have had.
Monday, October 18, 2010
I love animals in clothes!
This was 100% my idea. I take full responsibility. Mike had nothing to do with it. There's my disclaimer in case you want to come after us for animal cruelty. So, I found this at Wal-mart (goes to show you can find anything and everything at Wal-Mart). I HAD to get it. I mean, there was no thought process regarding this matter at all. A little witch hat on a kitty? No brainer. So, we got this on her and you can tell how happy she was a bout wearing it. She wouldn't move. She was like a statue. She thought she was in some kind of torture device. Now, that's not why we put it on her. We did it simply for the immense amount of enjoyment brought by seeing small animals in people clothes. I don't know why it's so fun, but man, it's the best. Sweet little Sophie. 
Hats, hats, and more hats
My kid is a crack-up. I am loving it. He is so into dressing-up (but of course I don't use that term around Mike). He LOVES hats. He wears hats everywhere- he even takes them to bed with him, gives them a blankie, and tucks them in. HA! So funny. When we are home you are most likely to see my son with a shirt, diaper (no pants), Anna's dress-up princess shoes, a hat on his head, and if you're lucky you'll find him wearing socks on his hands (and we have to be very careful with this one because he WILL put any socks on- even if they have been used on someone else's feet all day). BLAH! 
I'm showing you this picture just to let you know my kids like to make messes :) Check out the shoes and take note of the way too big jacket he's wearing.
I'm showing you this picture just to let you know my kids like to make messes :) Check out the shoes and take note of the way too big jacket he's wearing.
Projects....
I do this thing where I like to photograph the pictures my kids draw so that I have room to hang more up. Really, it's a selfish thing. I just hate having a million pieces of paper all over my house. When the kids bring too much home, I take a picture of the ones hanging up, throw them away, then put the new ones up. I don't know.....I guess that's lazy motherhood or something along those lines :) Anyway, I also have a picture of a diaper cake on here. I had two baby showers in the past week. One for my dear friend Nancy and one for my sister-in-law, Krista. It was so fun making the cakes. Anna helped me with the second one. I am happy to do more if anyone requests. It was a blast.
Random pictures from school and the sitters house.
Anna did this at school. It's a muddy little pig made with pudding. Glad I wasn't one of the parent helpers for this project :)Below is an original by Tyson. He loves Captain Underpants, and this is a picture of him flying around with two people hanging onto him. Funny little boy.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Life can hit you hard
I haven't posted for EVER. Sorry 'bout that. We've been just trying to keep up with ourselves and our life. Let's see if I can remember what has been going on that has kept me from the fun stuff.
School, school, and school. And yes, they are three different things. Mine, Mike's and the kids. Mine has been a big pain the arss as there is a lot more expected, less time, and less money involved. I love teaching, but geez....my anxiety level is shooting through the roof. Mix that with a principal that worries more over "time filled" then the human beings or teaching the student makes it ten times worse- especially since I'm expected to fill full time hours on a less than part time pay. We are working through it, but I give you fair warning.....I may not have a job in a few weeks (but that will be my choice).
The kids school is just that- school. A lot of work for them but they LOVE it. I am the room mom for Anna and I am in the kids classrooms 1 day a week. I like seeing how the kids do at school and how their teachers teach and react to my kids. The kids love their teachers and friends and I stay very busy helping the teachers make calls and organizing.
Mike's job is still the same. He has already talked to his principal about not being the staff developer next year and they are looking into changing that for him. Other then that, he is just being the awesome band teacher.
Our house: We stopped paying this month. We have been told that we legally have until the end of Dec. before we can be kicked out. Here in good ole' St. George there is a million empty houses and people are staying in them for months without any action from the bank. Our plan is to do just that.....stay until we are kicked out.
I had a birthday. I am now 30. I look in the mirror expecting a 15 yr old (because I still feel much like that....awkward and unsure) but then the mirror tells me I am indeed much older than that. I now NEED the make-up I used to wear just for fun (and still hate buying) and my skin is not holding "up" what's underneath it. I don't really feel different and I'm not freaking out over my age. I will keep getting older until I die. Yep....true story. Back to the birthday though. Mike took me to Cedar to see "The Diary of Anne Frank" done by USF. I know, so uplifting, right? I had read it this summer and thought it would be good to see. It was done so well. I loved it. He then took me up to the "C" on the mountain (a memory spot) and then to dinner. That was Saturday. On Monday (my actual b-day) he came and embarrassed me in class and then had the DHHS choir come and embarrass me as well. He made dinner and desert while I was enjoying a massage that he bought me as a b-day gift. It was very nice! I love that guy so much.
Brayden loves his sitter, loves being home, loves being out, and loves just about anything that we do. He's such a joy and light in my life. His smile, little words, and especially his songs make me happy. I love being his mommy. He cracks me up with his jokes and pranks. At two, he puts his dishes in the sink and his garbage in the trash can. He cleans up when asked to and is so polite. What a good little guy.
Lots coming up. I just made a list and deleted it because I could feel my heart beat start to race. Whew. Just breathe. It will all work out.
School, school, and school. And yes, they are three different things. Mine, Mike's and the kids. Mine has been a big pain the arss as there is a lot more expected, less time, and less money involved. I love teaching, but geez....my anxiety level is shooting through the roof. Mix that with a principal that worries more over "time filled" then the human beings or teaching the student makes it ten times worse- especially since I'm expected to fill full time hours on a less than part time pay. We are working through it, but I give you fair warning.....I may not have a job in a few weeks (but that will be my choice).
The kids school is just that- school. A lot of work for them but they LOVE it. I am the room mom for Anna and I am in the kids classrooms 1 day a week. I like seeing how the kids do at school and how their teachers teach and react to my kids. The kids love their teachers and friends and I stay very busy helping the teachers make calls and organizing.
Mike's job is still the same. He has already talked to his principal about not being the staff developer next year and they are looking into changing that for him. Other then that, he is just being the awesome band teacher.
Our house: We stopped paying this month. We have been told that we legally have until the end of Dec. before we can be kicked out. Here in good ole' St. George there is a million empty houses and people are staying in them for months without any action from the bank. Our plan is to do just that.....stay until we are kicked out.
I had a birthday. I am now 30. I look in the mirror expecting a 15 yr old (because I still feel much like that....awkward and unsure) but then the mirror tells me I am indeed much older than that. I now NEED the make-up I used to wear just for fun (and still hate buying) and my skin is not holding "up" what's underneath it. I don't really feel different and I'm not freaking out over my age. I will keep getting older until I die. Yep....true story. Back to the birthday though. Mike took me to Cedar to see "The Diary of Anne Frank" done by USF. I know, so uplifting, right? I had read it this summer and thought it would be good to see. It was done so well. I loved it. He then took me up to the "C" on the mountain (a memory spot) and then to dinner. That was Saturday. On Monday (my actual b-day) he came and embarrassed me in class and then had the DHHS choir come and embarrass me as well. He made dinner and desert while I was enjoying a massage that he bought me as a b-day gift. It was very nice! I love that guy so much.
Brayden loves his sitter, loves being home, loves being out, and loves just about anything that we do. He's such a joy and light in my life. His smile, little words, and especially his songs make me happy. I love being his mommy. He cracks me up with his jokes and pranks. At two, he puts his dishes in the sink and his garbage in the trash can. He cleans up when asked to and is so polite. What a good little guy.
Lots coming up. I just made a list and deleted it because I could feel my heart beat start to race. Whew. Just breathe. It will all work out.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Captian Feather Wings!
This is Tyson's first project of 2nd grade. He had to make a 3 dimensional bug. We added some antennae after this photo was taken but the rest lives up to what the teacher asked of the kids. Before we made it Ty wanted to name his bug "Junior Deathbug" (after last years bug winner). Well, when this bug started taking shape and Ty started adding the color, we decided "deathbug" didn't really fit. So we brainstormed. Ty has read all of the Captain Underpants books. If you know the books you'll know that there are some really funny made-up names. We decided on Captain Feather Wings. It cracked Tyson up so it stuck. I personally enjoy the button ears and the tuft of hair on the bug. On Friday, all 4 2nd grade classes displayed the bugs in the lunchroom for all to see. I'm proud of Tyson for the effort he put in and the creativity he has. 
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