Grandma

My Grandma passed away last night around 7 pm. We've been expecting it, but it still was a sad thing for me. I tend to hold on to the idea that there must be hope of some kind. I knew that it was not possible that she could survive the tumor, but I kept thinking "maybe there would be more time" or "maybe there would be some kind of miracle". Crazier things have happened after all. But no, this wasn't one of those events. I didn't want her to suffer and I know that she really wasn't suffering much. She slept so much of the time and this whole last week she never woke up- I know it was peaceful. It was good that her illness wasn't long and that she was able to do so much of the things she loved nearly to the end of her life. She had a great life and she is now back with my Grandpa. I have great memories of being at their house. I will miss the dock, the lemons, the smells, the swimming pool, the way the house was so tidy. Even when I went back 6 weeks ago, the house was still kept the same way with the same furniture. Nothing can replace her gentle and respectful way of speaking, her love of babies and children, and her genuine care for those she loved. Those are the things I will miss. Regrets?- of course. I wish I had been able to visit more, I wish she had been able to hold my Brayden, I wish my kids had known her better. Wishes don't work now though. They are pointless. What does matter is that I loved her and she made an impact on my life for the better. That's what we all want in the end, isn't it? To be remembered as someone who lived to love and loved to live. I think that was her. She was a genuinely good person and I know there is rejoicing in heaven today- especially because she is reunited with Grandpa. I will miss her and I will remember her until I can see her again. Goodbye Grandma. I love you.